Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Love Yourself Cause No One Else Will Ever Do It Properly

Hi. Yeah, it's me again. I made a promise to post regularly, but unfortunately and sadly, I've broken this promise. In fact, I've broken it every time I make a promise like this and I want to take the time to thank you guys for sticking around with me. I've had a pretty rough past month with lots of things crowding into my life and whenever a lot of things pop up into my life, I have a safety mechanism where I shut myself down and decide to pretend a lot of things don't exist, as if that would somehow make things better. Spoiler alert: it doesn't.

I've been trying my hardest to get back into the writing zone with lots of little pushes and prods from everyone. Shout out to my friends who sent in messages, shout out to my friends who sent in emails, shout out to me friends who tried pulling me out of my pit of depression with all their special ways. I'm writing this post thanks to you. And of course, thank you Envy for tagging me in the first place (:

Anyway, let's get this post started.

i'm not satisfied with my graphics anymore, I need to find a new style.


The Rules
1. Answer all the questions honestly
2. Tag five people who you want to bring a bit of happiness to

The Questions
What is something that is getting you down at the moment?
I currently feel top of the world! My mood fluctuates a lot really. Perhaps an hour from now, I will be mopey and miserable again because there's school tomorrow. And to be very honest, I was mopey and miserable two hours earlier because lots of stupid reasons. But I've decided that it's best to try to focus on the present as much as possible, especially if it's a moment where I'm feeling pretty good about myself.

What is something that makes you happy?
I really like talking to my friends. When I mean talking, I mean type/text talking. I'm not a big fan of talking with my voice because I tend to go over all my stuttering and pick out grammar/tone problems even while I'm talking. As a result, I'm usually too busy wondering if I sound okay and planning my next sentence rather than genuinely enjoying a conversation. It's much easier for me to talk through typed words and it's much more fun too cause you can also send nice images.
Another thing that makes me happy is a feeling of accomplishment. Whether it's completing an art project or a journal page or ticking something off from my to-do-list, the feeling of getting something done makes me happy.

Name 3 guilty pleasures!
1) I really really really like Starset and Owl City.
2) Painting and crafting with paper.
3) Watching documentaries about sharks or other sea animals.

What is something about yourself you'd like to improve on?
There's lots and lots of aspects of me that I want to improve. I really want to improve my personality, I want to improve my habits, I want to improve all of me so much. I could list out a bunch of things, but I suppose if I had to pick just one broad vague term, it would be my habits. Whether it's procrastinating, or time management, or doing my work on time. Even while writing this post, I am avoiding a long written assignment due tomorrow that I haven't started yet.

When was the last time you belly laughed?
Okay, this might sound stupid, but it was hilarious to me at the time.
So my brother came over to talk to me one day and he brought up Youtube stuff, more specifically, Jake Paul's song and how everyone was roasting him for it and he brought up H3H3 productions. So the conversation went like:
Him: So H Three H Three productions made a video on Jake Paul-
Me: *jokingly* you mean hee hee productions?
Him: Yeah, so hee hee productions-
Me: *dissolves into hysterical giggles every single time he says "hee hee productions" to the point where I can't breathe and I have to tell him to stop saying hee hee productions and go back to saying H Three H Three so my stomach doesn't burst*

What is your biggest insecurity/fear?
I really do not like the idea of failing. Failing is the umbrella term for all my fears/self doubt questions of
- what if I can't pass the exam
- what if I don't make it out of med school
- what if I have to retake an exam or redo a year
- what if I perform badly and get scolded in front of everybody
- what if I mess up?
- what if I get depressed?
- what if I have trouble eating again?

Name a song that always cheers you up when you're down.
To be honest, nothing always cheers me up. If there was a song that always cheered me up, I wouldn't be sad at all now, would I?

Name 3 things you like about yourself.
Well. This might be a little tough but I'll try to be as specific as possible.
1) I like how I am some sort of "jack of all trades" but master of none. I like dabbling into things that interest me and if something doesn't, well then. It can be really hard to get started. For example, I should really start working on porting this blog over to wordpress, but I'm very reluctant on getting started.
2) I guess I'm hardworking? I don't know really, I'm also very easily distracted so I'm not sure if I really qualify as working hard and sticking to my goals. We already discussed how I wish I could improve my personalty and habits, specifically to combat how I never get any work done.
3) I can't think of anything else about myself at the moment. Perhaps it's because I'm writing this post over a course of days so some questions are answered with the positive wave and some with a negative wave...

What is an achievement that has made you proud of yourself this year?
Again, I can't really think of anything. I suppose it's an achievement that I got through Ramadan this year. I also managed to get half my notes done for the USMLE and I also got somewhat started with preparations. I really can't think of any specific achievements at the moment! Unless you count the 50 follower milestone I broke a few months ago for this blog! That was definitely great.

Tell us your happiest memory.
These questions are making me feel like my life is a vortex of unhappiness.

The Tag
Dududududu, who to pass the happiness on to? I'm going to be picking out some new friends! I hope you guys enjoy doing this tag and remember, the whole point of this tag is to feel better about yourself, so if this is stressing you out in any sort of way, feel free to not do the tag at all! I'll be tagging:


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Well, before I sign off this post, I might as well say a few more things. I need to try cutting down distractions since I want to get my life and my studies back on track, especially since I need to start studying for the USMLE. As a result, the schedule for this blog is going to be adjusted. Instead of posting two times a week, I will now be uploading once a week, every Wednesday. If I feel like it, some weeks might even have two posts, but for now, I want to promise my audience at least one solid good post without fail. Till next week then!


3 comments:

  1. This is a great post! Nice read really! <3

    Thanks for the tag. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so glad you felt on top of the world whilst writing this!
    50 followers is incredible; You should be SO proud!

    Good luck with your upcoming exam.

    Thanks for the tag, K!

    Steph
    www.socialspying.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. Why dont you go to Kartar pura in Rawalpindi to eat something.it will make you happy...Aw food is love..sheer love

    ReplyDelete

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